[	Current Mood	|	calm	]
[	Current Music	|	lifehouse-blind	]

if onli i can count how much fats i eat a day. how awesome will tt be?!

ok if i roughly rmb... i ate abt 12g of fat. gosssshhh ITS DAM FAT PLSSSSSS!!!! gaaah. ive been eating like some glutton its not funni. my weight is nv the same. it jumps like a jumping jellybean. BONG BONG

so tmr its ice-skating!! obviously we dun give a shit abt the olympics. sorri. ive got a social life on a friday nite. hawhaw x)

if u can see... im so bored tt i decided to blog. we're gonna hav an awesome sex abuse talk tmr in skool!! how egggccciitttingggg! n wait till u hear the best part.... girls n guys hav separate talks.. n wait.... girls get 3 periods of pure fun n torture at the same time n guys onli get 2. seriously how long must u talk abt sex abuse? its jus... say no to sex. kick the guy in his nuts if he does anything.. and run away. see even i noe n i summarised it in 3 phrases!! =D ok shut up sharmaine

i swear my fats are getting in the way when i sit. its realli not funni

today is BOB's birthday.... HAPPY BIRTHDAY BOB!!!
realli wish i could be there to eat ur birthday cake in skool today!!! =( i miss u sooooooo much! n we havnt taken pics in AGES!! nearly a yr. n realli thxs for last yr's birthday celebration. i will nv forget it(((: I LOVE U!!! *ps... ur pig is safe on my bed((: n the ring u gave me when i left last yr... i still wear it all the time((: the best 2 gifts i got from someone. thxs so much* n rmb these pics? =D we need more pics when i go back okaaayyy?
 
countdown to best's birthday.... 2 DAYS!!!!!! n its national day too!!!! im patriotic okaaayyyy!!!

ps... im dam addicted to lifehouse songs!! so emotional. gossshhhh
pss... i hope BOB reads this soon enough!!
psss... BOB shall we go on the singapore flyer together when i get back??? =D I WAANNNNNN!!!

[	Current Mood	|	emotional	]
[	Current Music	|	lifehouse-whater it takes	]

the wind's cold... the breeze sending chills down my spine... looking at you doesnt warm my heart anymore. i feel like a stranger towards you... a loveless stranger. no one of any importence to you. this love is getting painful for me to handle. im getting tired... my bones are becoming brittle from all the personal attacks u made on me. part of me misses the familiar hug and smile.... part of me wishes to just plant a soft kiss on you. but yet the other part of me wishes things could just end like this.. that i hav the strength and the courage to walk away from you. but theres more of me which wants you and wishes things arent this bad. part of me miss you like crazy... part of me wishes i could vanish from your life and make you miss me more. im a loveless lost bird. flying on my own. youve lost me... but yet i dont know why i keep hanging around near you. i want to love you whole heartedly again. you're the one making me move away. im sorry darling.....

skool was fine. im pumped that its almost the weekend AGAIN!! YAY =D human bio test was A OKAY! stupid me was stressing like some crazy bitch. everyone was trying to tell me to chillax n i went crazy. n we started on the sexual reproduction system of a human. how awesome is tt!! uhhuh.. (note: im being sarcastic) the reproductory system is getting too technical for me. gossshhh

anyways im tired. poofed out to da max. i went to skool looking like a goldfish thxs to someone last nite. sighz...

ok during chris ed... i was pissed to da core!!! y? okay so we had to hav this debate session about whether all people are good or evil. so there were 4 topics. 1 on everyone is good. another on everyone is evil. another on its a choice on being good or evil. and my group got the 1/2 of both. so i was with baby... andrew... kenny... wentian and isa. so those boys decided to point their fingers at me n appointed me as the spokes person since i talk so much. -.- okay fine. so when i was debating... ms baker kept shooting questions like fireballs at me. seriously she asked me the most questions. n given my stubborn character... i fought back like crazy. everyone was like giving this face "gosh jus spare her n shut up!" so finally she managed to shut up. n yesss im a good debator. hawhaw x) cause i managed to finally shut her up. n at the end.... some people said i spoke dam well n i should become a lawyer! YAY =D another job for me. even my path to a psychologist fails... i shall be a lawyer(((: but i swear she jus hates me cause im quite noisy in class or rather my mind is somewhere else all the time or if baby sits next to me... he will poke me n i will laugh. so yessssss. i get in trouble in class sometimes
-----------------------------------------------------
A strangled smile fell from your face
It kills me that I hurt you this way
The worst part is that I didn't even know
Now there's a million reasons for you to go
But if you can find a reason to stay

I'll do whatever it takes
To turn this around
I know what's at stake
I know that I've let you down
And if you give me a chance
Believe that I can change
I'll keep us together whatever it takes

She said "If we're gonna make this work
You gotta let me inside even though it hurts
Don't hide the broken parts that I need to see"
She said "Like it or not it's the way it's gotta be
You gotta love yourself if you can ever love me"

I'll do whatever it takes
To turn this around
I know what's at stake
I know that I've let you down
And if you give me a chance
And give me a break
I'll keep us together, I know you deserve much better

But remember the time I told you the way that I felt
That I'd be lost without you and never find myself
Let's hold onto each other above everything else
Start over, start over

I'll do whatever it takes
To turn this around
I know what's at stake
I know I've let you down
And if you give me a chance
and believe that I can change
I'll keep us together whatever it takes

i wish you could jus sing this song to me. then i will know how true you are being to me. my emotions are running wild... i no longer know whats right and wrong. everyones telling me to go.... but i just dont know how to. im just waiting for saturday to come.... hopefully by then things wil be fine and dandy again.

im broken once again....

[edited]
the adults are out n i thot the kids would go too. but NOOOOOOOOOOOO! they're freakin stuck at home with me. ones hogging the fking tv n the other quietly in the room n tts a first. but still!! i want the fking hse to myself!! MYSELF!!! im getting irritated again. go DIE!!! another 2 more irritatable mths left. OH GOSH!! im pretty sure God must hate me for giving me a crappy life with a shitty relationship n an irritating hse. kill me

[	Current Mood	|	exhausted	]
[	Current Music	|	aly and aj-like whoa	]

 im exhausted to my poor brittle bones of mine. my phalanges and metacarpal bones are hurting like fk from writing countless pages of my stupid human bio notes. yesss im doing stupid bones... joints n muscles tts y im trying to be scientific. apparently it aint working for me. i cant rmb one shit at all. im basicaly screwed all the way down to my pelvic girdle. gosshhh i hav to shut up!!! 

OMG okaay random fact... u noe how i rmb humerus is the upper arm??!! well... i rmb alvin's impersonation of cherie's arm. (chicken wing) so its funni like humour.. humerus. HAAAA FUNNI RITEEE! yesss... so i thank alvin n cherie for helping me rmb my humerus. hawhaw x) i shal give u gummy bears when i go back((((:

i jus opened both my maxilla n mandible. y? cause im fking tired n i jus yawned.gaaaaahhh

im realli tired... i honestly cant rmb one shit of bones... joints or muscles. esp muscles!! gaaahhh... stupid triceps... biceps... fixators... origin... belly n insertion. gosshh.. someone fracture my cranium n take my brain out. i swear im becoming veri stupid. 

anyways 1/2 way through skool... idk y but everyone started having stabbing tummyaches. well mine wasnt realli a tummyache. but rather the pain started atmy sternum.. then it moved all the way down to idk where man! it was fking stabbing like a knife. 

i honestly think im dying. ok side note from trying to be try-hard scientific nerd which obviously isnt working out for me... during phys ed today... the guys kept flashing the bodies n boxers. gossh lame shittt. 1 of them is urs truely's dearest. -.- oh wells.. we still arent fine anyways. its been 3 days people!!! another record.

fk im hungry... im exhausted... i think i should get up at 6 n study again. which i doubt i would. hawhaw knowing me. i nv wake up when i say i want to. =P im a pig in the morning u see. 

after skool... tt guy stretched his arms out n hugged me. ok i thot he was gonna be nice n apologise for being an ass. but noooooo. he didnt. wat did he do instead? angie noes. pls lah.... wat does he take me for huh??!! someone tt he can go to when hes happy... n pushes me away when he doesnt want me? ok his character is basically like tt. but i could accept it when we werent together officially. but excuse me... im not jus ANYONE okay. gaaahhh. so i had this major bitch fight with angie jus now. thxs babe for listening.

ps... i onli ate 5 sushis today for dinner... 4 dumplings... n mind u... my sushis i made today had soooo little rice. it was like 1/2 a table spoon each sushi. haaaaa x) low carbs plssss! 
pss... im having a veri bad headache.
psss... i found pockey blueberry at the chinese shops so i bought it(((:

im really trying to stay strong and hang on. but its getting harder and harder as he chooses to walk away from me. im not just someone who is there when he needs me and just pushes me aside when he doesnt need me. he walks past me pretending not to see me. well saying all these sides.... i know at night when he goes to bed... he pounders about what im doing... how im feeling. likewise like me too. i never go to bed with a smile anymore. but an attitude where i TRY not to care but i know i still care every fking minute of his life. baby i miss you and i wanna be there throughout all those times too....